I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
