David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I have already put on my inside pants.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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