Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
