So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
