i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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