Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're like the curious george of whores
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
