Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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