Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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