just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
