Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The beer is more important than you right now.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
