fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
handjob tips. give me some.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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