His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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