Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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