Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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