sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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