I cannot find my penis.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
