I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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