i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
