His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
