I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
