mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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