shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
