I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
