You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
