you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
