just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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