i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
