oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
