when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
