so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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