Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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