...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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