im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
