after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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