3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
