As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
zippers are such a cool invention
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
FUCK WHALES
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
