did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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