He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
