What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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