I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
