what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
