Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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