Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
