I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
