so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
