she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
