i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
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