He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
