and i looked up. we had an audience...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
