The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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