I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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