I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize