he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
