tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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