Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Boobs are out for the taking
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
