i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
