There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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