Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
