K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
