just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize